Elevator Fun
1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your
kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and
muttering: Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!
4. Whistle the first seven notes of It’s a Small World
incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural
frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering
inside ask: Got enough air in there?
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator.
Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the
wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank
the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by
themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper:
Noogie patrol coming!
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm
handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand
that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped
down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
15. Do Tai Chi exercises.
16. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and
then announce: I’ve got new socks on!
17. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back:
Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!
18. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
19. Meow occasionally.