Archive for December 11th, 2008


I don’t think I’m going home for Christmas

I don’t have any days left at work. I was sick twice this year and missed 5 of my 6 days. Then I had to use my personal day to take care of some business for school. If I take the day after Christmas off, I won’t get paid for it. Not only that but I can’t afford the ticket home either. If I can’t go home, I surely can’t afford to go shopping for home theater seating. I can’t really afford anything this holiday season. I’m even short with my school budget so I really need to start bringing in some extra cash.

If I’m stuck here by myself, what in the world am I going to do all day to occupy my time?

Joke of the week

How Long’s It Been?

An old but still ruggedly handsome Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation. “Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner. Finally, the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you’ve been with a woman?”

“1955, ma’am.”

“Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously!? I mean, 1955!?”

Feeling charitable and a little bit drunk, she took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to spend some time with him. Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955!”

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, “I hope not, it’s only 2130 now.”

(Gotta love military time!)

  • Search & Win
  • Pages

  • Meta

  • Site Stats